The 6 Core Human Needs: Understanding the Motivation That Shape Our Behavior

As human beings, we all have basic needs that drive our behavior and shape our experiences. These needs, according to Tony Robbins, a renowned life coach, can be divided into six categories: certainty, uncertainty/variety, significance, connection/love, growth, and contribution. In this article, we will explore each of these needs and how they impact our lives—along with therapeutic insights to help you better understand how these needs may be showing up in your own behavior, mindset, and relationships.

1. Certainty: Assurance You Can Avoid Pain and Gain Pleasure

One of the most fundamental human needs is the need for certainty. We all have an innate desire to feel safe, secure, and in control of our lives. This need is driven by a fear of uncertainty, and we seek to avoid pain and gain pleasure by creating predictability and stability in our lives. This need is why we seek out routines, habits, and familiar surroundings that we can rely on.

Therapeutic Insight: You might notice yourself feeling anxious when plans change or overly focused on controlling outcomes. While it's natural to crave stability, too much certainty can keep you stuck in patterns that no longer serve you. In therapy, exploring your relationship with predictability can help you understand what makes you feel emotionally safe and how to expand your comfort zone without overwhelming your system.

2. Uncertainty/Variety: The Need for the Unknown, Change, New Stimuli

While certainty is important, humans also have a need for uncertainty and variety. We seek out new experiences, challenges, and stimulation to keep our lives interesting and exciting. This need can manifest itself in many ways, from trying new foods and hobbies to traveling to new places and meeting new people.

Therapeutic Insight: If you find yourself bored easily, chasing the next big thing, or struggling to sit still with routine, this need may be taking the lead. On the flip side, you may resist variety because of past trauma or unpredictability in your early environment. Therapy offers a space to understand your personal tolerance for change and how to invite healthy novelty into your life without sacrificing stability.

3. Significance: Feeling Unique, Important, Special, or Needed

Another essential human need is the need for significance. We all want to feel valued, appreciated, and important. This need is driven by a desire to feel unique and special and to make a meaningful contribution to the world.

Therapeutic Insight: Do you often feel like you need to prove yourself—or struggle when you don’t feel recognized? The pursuit of significance can show up as perfectionism, people-pleasing, or tying your worth to achievement. Working with a therapist can help you explore how to feel significant from the inside out, without relying on external validation.

4. Connection/Love: A Strong Feeling of Closeness or Union with Someone or Something

Humans are social creatures, and we have a deep need for connection and love. We seek out relationships and connections with others to feel a sense of belonging and to fulfill our need for intimacy and affection.

Therapeutic Insight: You might notice a strong drive to bond, even at the expense of your own needs or boundaries. Or, you may keep people at a distance because vulnerability feels risky. Therapy can help you reflect on your early attachment patterns and build healthier, more reciprocal relationships. At Green Therapy and Consultation, many clients work to find a more balanced connection to love—one that includes both closeness and self-respect.

5. Growth: An Expansion of Capacity, Capability or Understanding

Another important human need is the need for growth. We all want to expand our knowledge, skills, and understanding of the world around us. This need is driven by a desire for personal development and self-improvement.

Therapeutic Insight: Growth is powerful—but it can also become a pressure if you feel like you’re never doing “enough.” You may constantly seek the next podcast, course, or goal and still feel unsatisfied. Therapy can help you integrate what you’ve already learned and shift from striving to evolving—where you’re still growing, but from a place of self-acceptance rather than self-criticism.

6. Contribution: A Sense of Service and Focus on Helping, Giving to, and Supporting Others

Finally, humans have a need for contribution. We all want to make a positive impact on the world and to feel like we’re making a difference. This need is driven by a desire to be of service to others and to help those in need.

Therapeutic Insight: Do you give so much to others that you leave nothing for yourself? Or feel like you have to earn your worth by being useful? Contribution becomes more sustainable when it’s not fueled by guilt or obligation. If you're feeling burned out from caregiving or service roles, therapy can help you reconnect with your own needs. At Green Therapy and Consultation, this is a common theme for high-achievers and caretakers working to find more balance.

Understanding which of these six needs dominate your life can give you powerful insight into your decisions, behaviors, and relationships. Each need is valid—but finding balance between them is key to feeling emotionally well and grounded.

Boost Your Self-Esteem: 6 Actionable Steps for Improving Self-Worth

Self-esteem is the value and worth that we place upon ourselves, and it is a critical component of our mental health and well-being. It is essential to have a healthy self-esteem to lead a happy and fulfilling life. However, low self-esteem can be detrimental to our mental and physical health, leading to feelings of worthlessness, anxiety, and depression. If you are struggling with low self-esteem, there are several practical steps you can take to improve it. In this article, we will discuss actionable steps to improve self-esteem.

1. Practice self-compassion

Self-compassion is the practice of treating oneself with the same kindness and care that one would offer to a good friend. When we are hard on ourselves, it is easy to fall into a negative spiral of self-doubt and self-criticism. Practicing self-compassion can help us break that cycle. To practice self-compassion, try talking to yourself in a kind and supportive way. Treat yourself as you would treat a friend going through a difficult time. You can also try writing down affirmations or positive statements about yourself and repeating them regularly.

2. Challenge negative self-talk

Negative self-talk is the inner voice that tells us we are not good enough, smart enough, or capable enough. This voice can be relentless and damaging to our self-esteem. The good news is that we can challenge and change negative self-talk. To challenge negative self-talk, try to identify the negative thoughts and beliefs you have about yourself. Ask yourself if they are accurate and provide evidence that supports or contradicts them. If you find evidence that contradicts them, focus on that evidence and try to reframe your thinking in a more positive light.

3. Set achievable goals

Setting achievable goals can help boost self-esteem by providing a sense of accomplishment and success. It is essential to set goals that are realistic and achievable to avoid setting oneself up for failure. Start by setting small, manageable goals and build up from there. Celebrate your accomplishments along the way, no matter how small they may seem.

4. Take care of your physical health

Taking care of your physical health can have a positive impact on your mental health and self-esteem. Exercise, eating a healthy diet, and getting enough sleep can all contribute to a healthy sense of self-esteem. Start by incorporating small changes into your routine, such as going for a walk or eating more fruits and vegetables. Over time, you can build up to more significant changes.

5. Practice gratitude

Practicing gratitude can help shift our focus from negative thoughts and feelings to the positive things in our lives. Taking time to appreciate what we have can help us feel more content and satisfied with ourselves and our lives. To practice gratitude, try writing down three things you are grateful for each day. You can also make a habit of taking time each day to appreciate the small things in life, such as a beautiful sunset or a kind gesture from a friend.

6.Surround yourself with positive influences

The people we surround ourselves with can have a significant impact on our self-esteem. Surrounding ourselves with positive, supportive people can help build our confidence and self-worth. Try to spend time with people who encourage and uplift you. If you find yourself in negative or toxic relationships, it may be time to reevaluate those relationships and consider setting boundaries or ending them altogether.

Improving self-esteem is an ongoing process that takes time and effort. By practicing self-compassion, challenging negative self-talk, setting achievable goals, taking care of our physical health, practicing gratitude, and surrounding ourselves with positive influences, we can improve our self-esteem and lead happier, more fulfilling lives. Remember, you are worthy of love and respect, and you deserve to feel good about yourself.

Setting Healthy Boundaries in Relationships: Tips for Communicating Your Needs and Expectations

Setting healthy boundaries in relationships is an essential component of mental health and well-being. Boundaries are the limits we set for ourselves and others in our personal and professional relationships. They allow us to communicate our needs and expectations while respecting the needs and expectations of others. In this article, we will discuss how to set healthy boundaries in relationships and why it is crucial for our mental health.

The first step in setting healthy boundaries is to identify your needs and expectations in the relationship. Take some time to reflect on what you need to feel safe, respected, and valued in the relationship. Once you have identified your needs and expectations, communicate them to your partner in a clear and direct manner. Use "I" statements to express your needs, such as "I need to feel respected when we communicate" or "I need to have alone time to recharge my batteries." By expressing your needs in a clear and direct manner, you are setting the stage for healthy communication and respect.

The next step is to identify and communicate your boundaries. Boundaries can be physical, emotional, or intellectual. Physical boundaries involve personal space, touch, and intimacy. Emotional boundaries involve protecting your feelings and emotional well-being. Intellectual boundaries involve respecting your thoughts and opinions. Identify your boundaries and communicate them to your partner in a clear and respectful manner. For example, "I need to have some personal space in the evening to relax and unwind" or "I am not comfortable discussing certain topics with you."

Setting boundaries can be challenging, especially if you have not set them in the past. Your partner may not understand or respect your boundaries at first, but it is essential to stay firm in your boundaries and communicate them consistently. Setting healthy boundaries involves practice and patience.

In addition to setting boundaries, it is also essential to respect your partner's boundaries. Listen to their needs and expectations and communicate in a respectful and non-judgmental manner. By respecting each other's boundaries, you are creating a foundation of mutual respect and understanding in the relationship.

In conclusion, setting healthy boundaries in relationships is essential for our mental health and well-being. By identifying our needs and expectations, communicating our boundaries, and respecting the boundaries of others, we create a foundation of trust and respect in our relationships.